Creating Happiness - That Smile on the Face of Your Soul

Happiness. Was there ever a more agreed upon state of being that the entire universe desires?  Everyone wants happiness- that  positive emotion of pleasure combined with the deeper feelings of engagement and meaning (Martin Seligman). Philosophies are centered around it, songs written about it, even founding fathers declaring it's value. And, of course, modern thought consumed by being successful so one can be happy.  And while I admit to being strongly influenced... okay- BUYING INTO this last concept hook, line, and sinker, it has presented frustrations for me on two fronts.

Problem #1- I refer to it as the 'Hamster on the Wheel'. I have been known to set goals, telling myself "when I do/get such and such, that will make me so happy." Yet when said goal is reached, I don't have the feels I expect, so I end up saying, "well, when I do/get to the next level by doing/getting such and such AND so and so, then that will make me happy." You see where this is going, right? The road to happiness wheel just keeps spinning as my hamster efforts exhaust me in the process.

Problem #2- I refer to it as the 'Perfect Plans Gone Awry Syndrome'. My perception of how things need to go in order for me to experience success and be happy is frequently interrupted by people and circumstances out my control. So annoying, right? I find myself thinking, "This wasn't supposed to happen! How could they/it interfere like that? There's no way I'm accepting that. That makes me so unhappy!"

Through a process of forced self-reflection (that's a nice way of saying hitting rock bottom), I concluded I had some twisted thinking regarding happiness. Without realizing it, I had turned over much of my control of thoughts and feelings to circumstances and the effects of other people's actions on my life. I even discovered that the whole "success brings happiness" theory is COMPLETELY FALSE. In fact, the opposite is true. Happiness brings success.

Among the important sources that helped me have this epiphany was The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor.  I wish there was a way to succinctly summarize all of his research and methods, but frankly it is just so extensive and amazing I highly recommend you read it yourself. Suffice it to say it was extremely enlightening to learn that there are great strategies to implement on a daily basis that allow me to take charge of my own state of well-being and redirect my thought processes regarding success for my emotional health, positive feelings, and well, happiness. 

I would like to share with you one huge takeaway I got from my reading and a ridiculously  SIMPLE way to experience happiness in daily life. Take note of these 2 easy steps, my friends:


Step 1: Evaluate yourself. Did you know that when you exercise your character strengths and special skills your positivity surges? Yes, it's been proven by research. You can quickly and easily find and rank your positive traits, thanks to the internet. Go to https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/register and take the FREE survey to rank your signature strengths and be honest. I have taken personality and spiritual gifts tests before, but this is different. It was like turning the light on as I realized why I get jazzed about the stuff that gets my energy up and puts a smile on my face. Also, my list of top ten strengths had a few surprises that have increased my awareness of the depth and reality of who I really am. So cool.

Step 2: List your top 5 strengths and make a point to participate in an activity exercising one of those strengths every day. Sometimes the grind of what we feel we HAVE to do in a day ends up encroaching on the necessity of enhancing our embedded unique attributes and passion. But ultimately, I control my thoughts, feelings and decisions. You know who controls your decisions to be happy? YOU DO. So I'm  calling you out!. I challenge you to think about a new way to use one of your strengths every day for a week... and FEEL YOUR POSITIVITY ELEVATE.

This totally works, you guys. Speaking for myself, I have felt my pleasure, engagement, and meaning increase significantly as I creatively utilize my traits. It's been really eye opening to see how practicing spirituality, love of learning, love, creativity, and gratitude  (my top five) are absolutely essential to boosting my joy in the ebb and flow of life. Because I experience these boosts regularly, I find myself being more productive, more motivated, more confident, better at problem solving, and satisfied with my life. Hmmm...that sounds a lot like being successful.

So seriously, you absolutely, positively should try this. We're talking the ultimate in adapting, executing, and enjoyment here. You won't be disappointed. In fact, I'm so confident you will experience an extra spring in your emotional step and have a bigger smile on the face of your soul that I am saying "You're welcome" in advance!  It's never been more applicable for me to use my motto to encourage you than it is in this moment: YOU CREATE THE JOY THAT MAKES YOUR LIFE  BETTER.

*What are your top 5? I hope you'll share your top 5 signature strengths as a comment below. It is so fascinating and awesome to see how our special traits work in tandem to make our world a better place.*

It's Party Time! - Create Some Fun Part 2

It's here! Valentine's Day signals the last official holiday class celebration of the school year where I teach. Time to get our party on! As promised in the last post, I'm sharing some ideas that I plan to use for my party this year. Some new, some I've used before. I love looking at pictures  (Pinterest is an addiction) so I've put my twist on the things I really like and included the photos.

The theme is "Bananas For You".   I'm not a real big fan of red hearts and balloons with sappy sayings and lovey dovey for kids, but I do get into celebrating friendship! Little kids love animals and ice cream, so how can you go wrong with good friends, monkeys, and banana splits?!

First, the all important parent invitation. We want to make sure our families know they are welcome to join us. The kids will take these home in their folders and hopefully, they get posted on the frig as a reminder to their guests.  I also take advantage of using remind.com to send group texts to the students' families the night before our party and the parents really appreciate the communication.

Personally, my favorite part of party prep is decorating. Let's just say Hobby Lobby is a frequent stop for me on the weekends and leave it at that. (I can kind of go crazy in there.) Most of the tablescape items did indeed come from that store. No overly feminine décor or girlie colors-  boys are going to be at this party, too!

Parents really get into taking pictures of their kiddos on these occasions, so I am always sure to include a photo prop area. It is the first thing you see when you walk into the room, so it automatically doubles as additional decor. My giant monkey I found in a seasonal bin at a grocery store (for $14.99 - what a deal!) ended up being a huge hit with everyone last year.

I've had great success with preschoolers making their own Valentine bags (rather than dragging a box to school that their parents created at home that is twice the size of their child- I'm not even kidding). We review shapes while putting together adorable little monkey faces and practice name spelling by decorating paper bananas with sticker letters.  Cuteness! Line up all the bags and the kiddos just walk down the line dropping their Valentine cards into their friends' sacks. This takes a while for twenty students, so this serves as our activity time. Easy peasy.

A craft project to complete with their parent/guest is also part of the celebration. My son was my guinea pig in creating a trial run of this Valentine card.  I decided to give a nod to some traditional pink paper and hearts as they were the easiest to find in my overflowing abundantly full craft cabinet - don't judge. The students will do the handprint painting ahead of time and finish assembling at the party. My cardinal rule on party projects: The project must be keepsake worthy and require minimal effort and NO MESS. Ain't nobody got time to be stressed out by cleaning up arts and crafts disaster zones at our party!

I enjoy creating unique little Valentine goodies from me to my students rather than store bought run- of-the-mill cards, so I was stoked to find these free printables that match our theme! I will use the green "I'm bananas for you" card to attach to a baggie of yellow banana Runts candy for each child. Just. Too. Perfect.
Free Monkey Cards

And then comes the finale...
ICE CREAM. And bananas. And syrup. Whipped cream and cherries, of course. Don't forget the sprinkles (they are for winners, you know)! This is where having the extra assistance of the guests comes in handy. They are there to help with serving and clean up. After all, we are talking about four and five year olds eating banana splits- it's not for the faint of heart!
Here's the party plan and supply sign up sheet I used for having parents donate to our party.


Party Plan Form

For party favors to take home, I thought it would be cool to put together a little Curious George monkey activity bag. That is on my 'to do' list. The usual little doodads you find in the Target dollar aisle or party supply store always excite preschoolers. In fact, if we have extra time at the end of the party, we will play Curious George games on the SMART Board.
Curious George Games

And there you have it. A relatively calm but enjoyable celebration of Valentine's Day! I hope you find an inspiration somewhere (so many fantastic themes out there that it boggles my mind) that you can adapt, execute and enjoy. What a rewarding experience to be able to CREATE THE JOY THAT MAKES YOUR LIFE (and your students' lives)  BETTER.

Let's Get This Party Started!- Create Some Fun Part 1

I am a sucker for class parties. I love them. LOVE. THEM. For me, it's a fun way to connect with families and build rapport with parents without the pressure of discussing academics. The whole parent teacher conference thing sadly has some rather negative connotations for some families. But put the word 'party' and 'your child' in the same sentence and watch the adult facial expressions change from FREAK OUT to HOW FUN in an instant! Our school has an open door policy on party days to welcome family members of students to be guests in the classroom during celebrations. That has been a significant way for me to learn more about my students in a social setting and gain insight into their personalities as I observe their interaction with their guests. It makes me a little sad to hear some teachers moan and groan about "party day" when it has the potential to be epic. You might think from my enthusiastic support that class parties have always been a win-win proposition for me and our guests, but as with most rewarding experiences, I had to learn about having a successful party through trial and error.

I discovered that while some teachers feel they must have a parent as a party coordinator, that is not me. I have mental picture of what a successful party looks like and it's pretty unfair of me to put that pressure on another parent when they can't read my mind. Think about this: when a family hosts a birthday party with 6 friends for their kiddo in their home, it is going to look way different than a party in the classroom with 20 students and their guests. So how can I expect a parent without this experience to plan my party? So I just don't. Besides- I FREAKING LOVE PLANNING PARTIES. From the theme, to the decorations, to the snacks, to the activities (games, crafts), to deciding what's going to be the in the party favor bags... it's all a big party to me, actually! Do I have about a million other things I can do as a teacher with my time? Yes, of course. But why would I want to give up one of the things that brings me so much joy in hosting, inspires my creativity, and shows my students that I planned this fun time as a gift to them and their families? Making fun memories together related to school is key for students and parents alike to perceive a successful educational experience. If you've never tried planning your own class party, you should. Here are a few tips (learned the hard way) to pass along that might just help you with that win-win proposition.

Sending home a party guide describing your expectations will set the foundation for all of your parties to be great experiences for you, your students, and their families.

Tip #1- Clearly communicate your expectations to families beforehand.
It is possible to have a fun, yet relatively calm celebration, I promise. You just have to let people know what you expect. Using some creative problem solving, I developed a booklet to send home before the first party so parents would have a clear idea of what my classroom party would look like. A note was attached for them to sign and return letting me know that they read and understood the "Party Survival Guide" (that's really important) and could keep it at home to reference as needed during the year. Newsletters might not even get a second glance as they pass from the folder to the trash can, but, by George, a party guide has everyone's attention!
<<Download Editable Party Survival Guide>>

<< Download Party Survival Guide - PDF >>

Tip #2- Let families know the party plan and exactly what you need. You know how difficult the party project should be, how 'wild' the game can get, and what theme would interest them, because YOU KNOW YOUR STUDENTS. Go ahead and take charge of the plan, decide what supplies you need, and then share it. Don't be afraid to spell it out. (I've even included pictures of the brand of the item on the donation signup list if it was important to get a specific thing.) It's a sure-fire way to guarantee you won't end up with 12 dozen varieties of cupcakes and nothing else.

<< Download Party Plan and Signup Sheet >>

Tip #3- Send home a confirmation/reminder slip and let families know what donation they are in charge of providing and when you need it. I find the remind.com resource to be exceedingly helpful in sending out group texts to parents as reminders or notifications that something special (like a party note) is coming home in the folder. I include the info on joining reminder on the back of my party guide.

<< Go to Remind.com >>

The groundwork has been laid for a killer party. It's all up to you to ADAPT the plan for your celebration, EXECUTE the activities, and ENJOY the successful festivities and making a memory with your families! I hope to share some fun ideas for an upcoming party in the next post "Let's Get This Party Started!- Create Some Fun Part 2.

Peacock Ponderings - Symbols and Such

I have a thing for peacocks. Is that weird? It doesn't matter. I just think they're cool. From their unusual feather design, to their pretty turquoise blue, they're like a mashup of regal and mystical. But there's more than that to my fascination and the reason I have a peacock feather visual on this blog...

My first time seeing a peacock up close was at the zoo where he was strutting across the grassy hills in between other animal exhibits. Just free and proud as could be. I seriously thought he was going to come up and let me pet him, he was so close. And I know it was a 'he' because the males are the colorful ones. (I later learned females are called peahens. That knowledge is going to come in handy for you in a round of trivia someday. You're welcome.) He splayed out his beautiful feathers and called to me with a trilling little "Caw, caw, caw, caw!" and I was a goner. I would have gladly taken him home with me and started a peacock farm, but the zoo people frown on that sort of thing.

When it came time to update the living room furnishings a while back, I found my inspiration piece at Pier One Imports. Any guesses as to what it was? Yep-a peacock pillow! Which led to a metal peacock sculpture, which led to a large vase of peacock feathers, and an organic peacock wreath. And headed just to the edge of going too far- a peacock feathered star for my Christmas tree topper. (Had to make that one myself, y'all- surprised?)
Here are a few of my favorite things...



Lots of animals have come to symbolize an idea or characteristic because of their unique traits. I wondered... "Does the peacock signify anything special?" How awesome to learn that because of their ability to replace their feathers every year, peacocks symbolize rebirth and renewal. In my faith, I absolutely cling to the hope of being remade from the inside out! I love the Bible verse that says "That's why we are not discouraged. No, even if outwardly we are wearing out, inwardly we are being renewed each and every day." (2 Cor. 4:6) I stand in need of daily renewal, and Jesus shows His faithfulness by keeping His promise. The Message says it this way, "So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without His unfolding grace." Such. Powerful. Words. The symbol comes to life for me. Because now when I see a peacock unfolding his feathers, I think of God's unfolding grace all around me.

And in me.

Our Maker is amazing. So much of His creation reminds us of the miracle of rebirth and resurrection. When I look around my living room at my peacock pieces, I'm reminded of a God that takes joy in me using my creativity in any positive capacity because it glorifies Him. I'm reminded of a Savior that renews my spirit so that I can share His love with others. I'm reminded of my truest Friend who longs for me to experience the beauty of the unforced rhythms of grace.

I bet if you look closely in your corner of the world, there is something that God can use to remind you of all that He has to offer. That seemingly inconsequential little feather motif at the top of your screen right now is there to remind you that the most inspiring and joyous miracle God can do in you is to MAKE YOU NEW.

What inspires you? How about placing some of those symbols around you to help you remember your dependence on Him and His love for you? ADAPT your environment to reflect His goodness, EXECUTE that creativity He's blessed you with, and ENJOY peace while trusting in the Son of God that gave His life for you.

Paradigm Shift Ahead - Get Creative

Ever feel like somewhere along the way what you thought held huge value turned out to be worthless to invest in? It probably happens more than we realize and it can take some new inspiration and creativity to deal with the paradigm shift in our thinking.

My partner in chaos management- er, husband Mike, has a penchant for finding deals at auctions and sales. It's become a hobby of his to turn trash into treasure. Since he's so good at it, I've made peace with the garage full of ...what should I say....masterpieces in the making??? He can upcycle someone's throwaway door into a multi-paned picture frame. He has been known to transform a long-forsaken and damaged coffee table into a shadow box conversation piece full of family memorabilia. He repurposed a rusted file cabinet into a macho bedside table. He converted an old wooden pallet into a colorful sign for my classroom reading canopy. Creative inspiration? Check out the photo evidence, you guys. He nails it! My completely objective proud wife opinion is that he needs to have his own show on DIY Network!


Mike also has his eyes peeled for valuable antiques to pass along to the right collector or business and turn a profit in the process. I could totally see him owning the role of an American Picker... like a boss! Apparently, there's some kind of high you experience when you pick an antique and know you are guaranteed to double or triple your money on the resale. There's also a huge letdown when you think you found a something of great worth that just needs little polish, only to find out it wasn't valuable at all and you lost money on the thing! That's happened to him before. The lesson was learned on a old time silver tea set that wasn't really silver. And again, on the gold jewelry that wasn't really gold...wah, wah, wahhhh! Disappointing, of course, but he recovered quickly enough. You can't keep a good man down- on to the next deal!

Personally, I have experienced the letdown of investing in a skill that I deemed valuable, only to discover it was bankrupting my spirit. When I began teaching, I remember being encouraged to be flexible. Flexibility was key so I could meet the needs of students, follow directions from administration, build relationships with parents, develop curriculum and lesson plans, increase achievement within the parameters of the school schedule and deal with the ever-changing variable of student behavior. {Feel free to insert the laundry list of the challenges of your profession/daily life and how you must change in order to meet expectations here!} In my pursuit of making sure I was being flexible to MEET ALL OF THE NEEDS ALL OF THE TIME, I convinced myself that multi-tasking at work was a very valuable skill that I should possess to help me succeed. My self talk was along the lines of "Sure! I can talk with my students, complete paperwork, and answer emails at the same time. I'm flexible and this is all important." Later it turned into "I can teach this lesson, make notes of student performance, record this good idea that just came to me to use in the future, and troubleshoot the technology issue that has just reared it's ugly head because I am good at multi-tasking and this is all very urgent right now!" Looking back, I have to shake my head in disappointment because it kind of evolved into a prideful attitude of becoming "superteacher" and rescuing everyone and everything I considered within my reach. And you know the saying: "Pride goes before a fall..."

Fast forward to a day sometime ago after living with this value system of several years. I will never forget the feeling of being so drained at the end of the day that I had no mental energy left to problem solve at home. I will always remember that feeling of complete frustration and anger with myself when I lost my patience with a student in need of assistance because I was in the midst of printing off lesson materials from my computer, trying to think of an appropriate response to an upset parent to explain a misunderstanding, and supervise my students at centers - AT THE SAME TIME. I saw the student needing my help as the interruption to my multi-tasking fervor. HOW IN THE WORLD did that happen??? I am the TEACHER and HELPING STUDENTS is my PRIORITY, for the love!!! But my time and energy went into making sure EVERYTHING urgent and important was accomplished as soon as possible. My multi-tasking ways were robbing me of the joy of interacting with my students and the reward of being fully aware of their "a-ha" moments and celebrating with them. I might also add that I realized I had become used to spreading myself so thin trying to cover all of the bases, that I lost my focus and efficiency at getting tasks completed in a way that made me proud of the finished product. Small jobs were taking twice as long and my RESENTMENT AT THE TIME I SPENT AT MY JOB was taking over my life.

It became evident to me that a paradigm shift had to happen for me to create the joy in my life and in my career. MULTI-TASKING WAS NO LONGER MY FRIEND. Living in the moment and FOCUSING MY ATTENTION ON THE MATTERS OF THE PRESENT became the most valuable skill to me in my workplace. I came to discern the difference between urgent and important. My number one job is connecting with and engaging kids in the learning process. I have plenty of other tasks to do, of course. But I don't have to do them all at once.

Now my creativity goes into making efficient routines that focus on one task at a time. Can I just get nitty gritty with practical stuff for a minute? Those emails can wait until my students are out of the classroom where I can steadily work through them and devote my concentration to writing appropriate replies. The words come out easier with less time spent as I respond to one email after another. Printing out lesson resources can be done after I have found several that I like, saved them to one place, and then I can sort through and prioritize without having to assign each idea in its designated lesson as soon as I see it (and probably end up changing it later anyway). Correcting assignments/grading assessments can happen at time in my schedule where I only work on that group of assignments/assessments so that I establish a "flow" in the grading pattern and it takes me less time to finish the stack; whereas when trying to grade a few at a time, here and there, or while trying to listen to a student share their work, makes it take twice as long. I try to start at the beginning of tasks and work all of the way to the end as much as possible.

I owe so much to this author Angela Watson. Her chapter on "Being Present and Looking for the Light Bulb Moments" was just what I needed to help me in my paradigm shift.

However, we all know schedules are not perfect. Sometimes I can't work from start to finish. It really helps me to designate a segment of time and concentrate solely on ONE THING for that time. When the timer goes off, I don't worry about was not done. My self talk goes like this, "That felt good to get that chunk of work done. The kiddos are coming back from lunch now and they will need my full attention to settle back into class after the hub-bub of the cafeteria, so I will finish the rest after school today." No multi-tasking, no guilt, NO MISSING OUT ON THE JOY OF STUDENT AND TEACHER INTERACTION.

I'm so much happier remembering how to focus on my passion for kids and learning. I'm still tired at the end of the day (yeah- because that's normal when you teach 20 four & five-year-olds all day) but not drained. I can feel good knowing that I concentrated on the important and gave my best effort. I am proud of what was accomplished.

Don't miss out on your joy. What paradigm shift needs to happen for your peace and well-being? It might be time to realize that what you thought was valuable is making your spirit bankrupt. Get inspired to develop a new value system based on what you are passionate about. Give yourself some time and grace in transitioning into your new way of thinking- it might take a while to get the hang of it. Adapt your system, execute your plan, and enjoy your investment! YOU CREATE THE JOY THAT MAKES YOUR LIFE BETTER.