How Donald and Hillary Are Helping Me Raise My Kids

It's hard to look at this year's presidential candidates and not have some sort of adverse reaction, isn't it? Something just doesn't feel right. This reaction is certainly not for lack of information. I've heard the large list of qualifications touted by those that support each candidate on their respective sides and the arguments against them from the opposition so much I feel like I could quote them in my sleep. On the flip side, I've heard disillusioned men and women talk about how they are so disenfranchised that they have decided not to vote at all this year. It's time to talk politics without being political.  This post is not designed to try to convince you to vote for one candidate over another. Nor is it designed to persuade you to 'just vote' no matter how odious you feel the choices are. Rather, I'm hoping you'll find that national elections that appear to be darned-if-you-do and danged-if-you-don't scenarios, actually afford real teachable moments in parenting our kids. We just have to be open to seeing the opportunity right in front of us.


Let me say this from the start... I personally don't view either the Republican or Democratic nominee as a role model for my kids. (Can I get an 'amen'?!) But can we learn from the history of their lives? Absolutely! When I talk to my boys (ages 16, 12, 10, 8) about Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, I am honest about the areas of their character that I find are severely lacking. Areas in which I hope that when my sons are grown, they can demonstrate strength rather than weakness. Lest you think that sounds judgemental, let me preface this by saying no one is perfect. We've all done things, said things, or made decisions that we wish we could take back. No one is outside the realm of being forgiven and redeemed. We've all fallen short so we can just stop comparing our wrongs to other people's wrongs and justify ourselves by thinking we're "not that bad". Sin is sin. Trying to make ourselves look better by putting others down accomplishes nothing.


So, where's the teachable moment? It's that moment where we take time to address the issue of how the habits we practice in our daily interactions with others develop a pattern by which the people in our lives- past, present, and future-  determine our trustworthiness.


While driving my kids to school and listening to the radio dj talk about a recent presidential debate, it seemed like the right time to remind them about how all of our decisions have consequences- good or bad. The candidates before us have experienced the reality that each action they have taken, even in privacy, has a corresponding consequence displayed on a platform for all to see. Every single one. When we choose to go against what is morally right and stop listening to our conscience, there's going to be fallout. While we may ask forgiveness when we insult or harm someone, the pain of those words cuts deep and the harm we've inflicted carries emotional scars. When we treat people as objects for our own selfish reasons, we are responsible for their damaged spirits.  And when we mislead, deceive, or lie to someone to cover up our costly mistakes or wrong-doings, and all of it comes to light, we end up alienating people even if we were trying to protect them! Their hurt may be so great, that even if they forgive us, our relationship can suffer irreparable damage. By weaving a web of deceit we destroy the bonds of trust and threads of hope we desire that others would place in us.


Instead of grumbling over our morally and ethically lackluster choices in the presidential race, what if we leaned in on this opportunity to show our kids how very important and powerful their own words are? What if we encouraged them to think long and hard on how to best communicate in a way that builds others up and learn the skill of controlling their tongues? What if we took the daily temptation our kids face to 'look out for number one' as a lesson in how to treat others as equally valuable creations of God rather than using them as the means to our own selfish end? We could leverage this election year as an example of why integrity is an essential virtue if they hope to have strong and lasting relationships throughout their lives, rather than having their motives constantly questioned because of past dishonesty and disrespect. We should strive to instill in them the importance of being a person of moral character so that they don't have to tie themselves in knots over trying to figure out how to appease different groups of people by telling half-truths and lies. We all want to raise happy, well-adjusted kids that make the world a better place, right? If my boys could somehow grasp the concept that their ultimate happiness and self-worth is not in the riches they might gain or in the political power they might exercise, but in the joy of fulfilling their God-given potential to show His love to others and their identity in Jesus Christ, then I have succeeded in my achieving my highest priority as a parent!

Rather than viewing this election cycle as a dismal lose-lose proposition, I view it as an opportunity to guide my family in pursuing character traits that lead to personal peace and satisfaction.  It provides a great example of how much better it would be to have others witness the habit of using our resources and sphere of influence as a force of good rather than leaving a trail of broken relationships, insincerity, disrespect, and doubt in our wake. I'm going to seize the chance I have right now to show how positive choices that come from a spirit of humility CAN and DO make the world a better place. Don't lose heart, my fellow parents! This is our time to prove it to our kids that we really believe it when we say our faith is in God and not in a man or woman. Be released from worry about how this election will turn out. We are in charge of our own personal choices that determine whether we live a life of joy that positively impacts others,  or a life in which we are constantly having to make excuses for our selfish nature and catastrophies of misplaced trust. I hope and pray that we take advantage of all the teachable moments, even when they come about in the most unexpected ways. With God, nothing (not even a Trump vs. Clinton election) is wasted.